"I don't--" But she didn't want to get into the parts where it wasn't just about her mother, maybe wasn't even mostly about her mother. "I don't want to do everything in my life worrying about what she might think. But with this... it's just too personal. I don't mind sharing that stuff with you, but it's not for the rest of the world -- her or anybody else. And when I was posing for you it felt like I was in front of the rest of the world. That's what made me so nervous."